How much privacy should we give our kids? Most of us have been guilty of keeping a closed eye on some things that our kids may be doing, out of wanting to give them privacy. Yet, some say by avoiding uncomfortable confrontations with our kids, we may be letting go of a crucial part in our role as parents and caregivers of these children.
I liked what a mother once told me: “I know I probably stress too much about my daughter’s friendships and whereabouts, but one thing I know for sure… I know I can never regret being there for her, and watching over her. When she’s old enough, she’ll probably be doing the same thing with her kids. ”
Following is an article that talks about this, and how we can bridge the emotional gap between us as parents and our kids with a consolation basis.
Privacy: How Much Should Kids Have?
Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts
Have you ever heard a parent say something like, “I don’t feel comfortable searching my daughter’s room. I don’t want to invade her privacy.”?
Perhaps you know a child who is severely bent out of shape because their “Neanderthal” parents won’t allow them to keep a computer in their bedroom.
Where do I stand on this issue?
- It’s our job to do our best to know what’s going on in our children’s lives.
- It’s our job to know what’s in their rooms.
- It’s our job to do our best to know what they are doing on their computers and their phones.
- It’s our job to do our best to meet their friends and understand what they are involved in when they are hanging out.
- When we do these things, we send the message that we love them enough to be involved in their lives.
Parents who do such things will likely hear, “You don’t trust me!” If so, respond with the following:
We love you. Do you think we do these things to be nosey and obnoxious… or do we do these things because we love you and want to help you stay safe?
This question is not designed to change their mind. It’s simply designed to plant a seed within it. When we consistently demonstrate love and concern…rather than a dictatorial attitude…this seed has a chance to grow.
As a society, we’ve lost far too many good kids to drugs, alcohol, pornography, suicide, video game addiction, etc., because we’ve been afraid of invading privacy. In our Teen Package
you’ll find a treasure chest of ideas for staying highly involved in your teen’s life…without creating massive power-struggles and rebellion.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Dr. Charles Fay
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