It’s always a confusing matter for parents, particularly mothers, when they feel they give their kids a lot of privileges, and therefore, deserve some cooperation, appreciation and respect from their kids in return. Yet, in reality, this doesn’t happen the way we think it should. Kids who get their needs and wants met all the time may feel entitled to even more, because – to them -that seems to the norm. Consequently, parents may feel resentful for kids’ lack of respect of parents’ generosity and continuous demands, and may punish them by taking away some of the privileges they give them.
Generally, kids need to understand they are part of the family, and that the parents can entertain them during ‘their’ time, but after that, it’s “parent’s time” or “adults’ time” . Kids may not like this first but then, they may understand that they have a share of the parents’ time, but not all of it. This – in return – helps the parents retrieve their individual emotional balance, in order to help them regain their energy, which they need to lead a healthy life.
I’ received an article by the Love & Logic magazine, titled “Taking Away Privileges VS. Energy Drain Technique”. It advocates using a technique, called Energy Drain Technique, which helps parents explain to their kids that they drain mom or dad’s energy when they misbehave or don’t listen. They need to put back energy into their mom or dad by doing things, like helping mom or dad clear the table, wash the dishes, sweep the floor, taking a nap, etc. It teaches kids to take responsibility for their actions, as they consider the consequences of their actions on their parents.
Parents can tell their kids what helps them retrieve some of their energy that was drained as a result of their misbehaving or naughty actions. Sometimes, a child can demand constant attention from his/ her parent. Here, this parent can explain to the child that constant catering to the child’s demands can drain their energy. By asking the child to play on their own, this can retrieve some of the parent’s lost energy.
I found this technique very helpful. Clearly, if it’s not suitable for you, you don’t need to follow it. There’s no perfect parenting or parents. Life is so dynamic, and we only test ways to help improve our quality of parenting, and our as well as our kids’ mental and emotional well-being.
Taking Away Privileges VS. Energy Drain Technique
Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts
- Love and Logic Provides Solutions for Parents (prweb.com)
- Love and Logic Parents not Micro-managers (motivationalmagic.wordpress.com)