I’ve been wondering all day what makes one say “Enough is enough”?
When does one draw the line between what’s been going on in the past and what will happen in the future?
Where does the decisions to stop accepting old patterns, conjure up a long-awaited strength, and look for a better alternative, come from?
Does it come from our hearts, minds or souls? Or is it a mixture of all?
I recall in the past that whenever I didn’t listen to my intuition, which was telling me to do or reject doing something, I always ended up regretting it. Therefore, a long time ago, I learned that whenever there was a contradiction between my heart and mind, to always follow my intuition (i.e. heart or hunch).
The mind can be tricked yet it is there to serve a purpose. Most people across history have believed that emotions are there to delude us; that following them leads to misery. Therefore, mind has always been given the preference and the value to be labelled as ‘the decision-maker’ and the ‘manager’ of everything that has been going on in our brains.
Yet, what is science is proving nowadays is that the most authentic resource of our true preferences towards matters comes from our emotions. They are like miraculously individual inner compasses that are not lured or affected by opinions, appearances, benefits, etc. Each person has an inner compass that points in an independent direction that is not ruled by society or one’s mind. It talks to us through the inner hunches we may experience. That is why it is such a waste of resource and chance for authenticity to ignore those hunches, and follow what you think is ‘logical’, just because your mind is telling you so.
Listening to one’s mind is like relying on a traffic controller to shepherd your thoughts through directions it thinks they logically fit into. However, combining both, emotions and mind power, one can harness two key resources that can best lead us toward what we really want and align them with where we truly wish to go.
Our minds may force us to accept ‘realities’ as a given, and they may lead us to seek and follow a path that deep inside we may not want to be moving in. Our emotions never sleep or lie. They’re always there, and they tell us what our honest attitudes are toward things, yet we mostly choose not to listen to them out of fear to lose our way. Society has created this fear, but has it really allowed us to listen to our own intuition about things? Are we aware enough of our values and life purpose, to an extent where we’d prefer to listen to our inner compasses as opposed to just go with the flow or moving on autopilot?
I believe that no matter how much we may repress our inner hunches (intuition, true selves, etc.), they eventually come forward in a form of rebellion against our own brains and lives. This is where we may choose to draw the line between what we thought was good, and what we really want to be doing instead.
So what do you think? When would you draw the line and decide enough is enough?
What makes you tick? Is it anger, provocation, a rude attitude by someone you never respected, or a repeated mistake?
What makes your heart beat faster? Fear or love?
Is it devotion that you feel every time you remember a loved one (a mother, a partner, a sister, etc)?
Why do we still continue to go about our lives neglecting our simplest yet most significant emotions, thinking that there would always be time to sort them out later?
Why do most of us ignore their emotions altogether? Is it busyness that keeps us from giving value to our emotions or is it something deeper?
Perhaps it is an underlying belief and an almost absolute perspective on a particular subject that leads you to eventually ignore your true feelings towards it?
Are we really the person who is living our life? Or do we constantly envisage another world, through which you see yourself differently from the way we see ourselves?
Are we stuck in a particularly unsatisfying zone? Where do we wish to leave it for?
All these questions make me wonder what is really the end point, at which we stop tolerating the abuse (whether we cause to ourselves or allow others to cause upon us). If we are aware of the answer, then what are we waiting for?
A savior? But who is a better savior for you than yourself?
A savior is a perspective in the mind, which leads us to refuse a wrong situation we are in, and choose one that allows us to flourish and prosper. If we couple positive perspective with productive action then we’re bound to get to where we really wanna be. Only there, no one and nothing can make us tick, for we won’t be feeling on the edge anymore, and the peace we feel then can spread around contagiously inspiring other success stories with the people we share our success with.
What do you think?
The School of Coaching Mastery is holding a competition of the Best Coaching Blog for the year 2012. I have been blessed so far with an increasing number of followers who really inspire me and motivate me to continue doing what I do best, Coaching and writing articles around my experiences in this field.
The reason why I participated in the competition is because I am hoping to attract even more traffic to my website and blog, and enrich my contacts’ list.
All of your comments, follows and Likes have made me feel that I’ve been in the company of all of you. What a great and motivating feeling it has been!
Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you’d take a minute to vote for me clicking the following button (which you can also find to the right side of the screen on my website http://www.wisdomwithinconsultancy.com and my blog wisdomwithinus.wordpress.com
A habit is something you can do without thinking – which is why most of us have so many of them. ~Frank Howard Clark
Who would we be without our habits? Without those little idiosyncrasies and automatic routines that distinguish one person from the next? Our habits, good and bad, play a paramount role in defining who we are, and subsequently, how others judge our character. In a work setting, our habits can have a significant impact on how we function, how productive we are, on our performance appraisal and how our colleagues perceive us. So it’s no surprise that exercising good habits can influence the success of our careers.
Given that we’re all marked by our habits, this article will outline some of the major bad habits we may be exhibiting in the workplace that we may not be aware of, but that could be impeding our careers. Being aware of our behaviors in our work environment can help shift a bad habit cycle and transform it into a positive working routine.
Top 10 Bad Work Habits
- Isolating Yourself
- Avoiding Work
- Resisting Change
- Being Negative
- Procrastinating, Then Rushing
- Being Disorganized
- Not Sharing Experience
- Sharing Too Many Experiences
- Always Taking Things Personally
The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change. ~Eng’s Principle
The first step to breaking a bad habit is to recognize it. In 5 Steps to Breaking Bad Habits and Being More Productive, Shelley Doll suggests keeping a journal to track how you spend your days at the office, including things like start and end times, locations, and participants. Performance review software is also fantastic at aligning employee performances with company objectives. You may be surprised by what you discover about yourself in your work environment. Taking note of how you spend your day will also help you to identify your “triggers” and understand what sets off your bad habits and your good ones. You can then work on creating positive habits to replace the negative ones, for each of the triggers.
Bad Habit 1: Isolating Yourself
If you want to argue that the point of being at work is to work, you’re right. But if you find yourself rarely participating in conversations, it can have undesired consequences that affect you and those around you.
You’re not obligated to like everyone; not everyone has to like you either. However, having good manners and a friendly disposition can go a long way. Just think about how significantly your day can change when someone smiles at you. It’s the simple gestures such as smiling, making eye contact, saying hello when you walk in and good bye when you leave that yield unprecedented results in the long run. Participating in work activities, going to lunch, these also give you the opportunity to get to know co-workers in a different setting. These small efforts are at the forefront of maintaining harmonious relationships with your colleagues and enabling what is called group synergy, a group intelligence that emerges from the collaboration of many individuals.
Bad Habit 2: Avoiding Work
If you find yourself continuously hesitating to take on new projects or are exceptionally skilled at finding someone who can do a task “better than you”, you may inadvertently be denying yourself the chance to learn something new. True, sometimes there is someone better to handle a job but don’t get confused; there is a big difference between delegating work and simply avoiding it. Where delegating is an aptitude for assigning specific tasks to the appropriate people, avoiding just means not doing the work at all. The more work you offload, the more pressure you put on others. While this doesn’t entail saying “Yes” to every task, showing your willingness to help and find solutions reflects positively on you and your work ethic. It may well encourage others to want to work with you, or recommend you for important projects in the future.
Bad Habit 3: Resisting Change
Often times, people aren’t comfortable with change. The mere fact that “We’ve done it this way for 30 years” makes them resistant to new ideas. Coupled with this resistance is often a deep-seated fear of change. Overcoming this fear sometimes takes pretending: embracing something that makes you feel uneasy, anxious or scared. Change will happen with or without you, so it’s up to you to either take part in it or watch it from the outskirts. If you truly feel that a new method of doing something will be counterproductive to the company’s goals, express your concerns, but have a set of alternatives that you think could work as well, or better.
Bad Habit 4: Being Negative
“Disappointment requires adequate planning” ~Richard Bandler
The “Negaholic”, as coined by Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott, is a person who is addicted to negativity in thought, word, or behavior. Negativity can be highly contagious and spread rapidly in an office setting. Being negative is a vicious cycle that’s easy to fall into. It can quickly become second nature and make you begin to think, feel, and believe that you are insufficient to meet the challenges that are being presented to you. You may also resort to putting the blame on factors outside yourself rather than examining within.
There’s nothing as energy-sapping as having to deal with a spiteful, pessimistic co-worker. One of the first habits to get into when trying to overcome the negative cycle is to focus on the bright side of things. Life isn’t always perfect. Things do go wrong, but even when they do, if you focus your energy towards what you’ve learned from a bad situation, you can manage it better in the future. Being able to accept a situation and move forward is fundamental to having a positive outlook.
Bad Habit 5: Gossiping
Humans may be curious creatures, but there’s a fine line between being inquisitive and being a nosy gossip. See if you can find a trigger to the gossiping behavior. If you tend to gossip over lunch, maybe you have to rethink going to lunch with people who gossip. Conversations with co-workers always demand a certain level of discretion in order to protect people’s privacy and respect their boundaries. Asking too many personal questions and meddling in people’s private affairs can make them feel cornered and uncomfortable. If someone wants to involve you, you will be brought in the loop.
Bad Habit 6: Procrastinating, Then Rushing
Some people say they work best under pressure but procrastination becomes a problem when it begins to impede your performance. Projects get delayed, you get stressed, and the quality of your work can suffer. Some habits that may contribute to your procrastination are personal phone calls, long breaks, surfing the Internet for non-work related purposes, or even playing online games. When the deadline finally arrives, the work may be complete but the results are only mediocre. The best way to break a habit is to drop it. Quitting procrastination takes a good schedule, a time management solution, and dedication.
Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow. ~Yiddish Proverb
Bad Habit 7: Being Disorganized (That includes your desktop!)
If scattered documents, clutter, and a Great Wall of Coffee Cups have taken over your workstation, it’s time to reclaim your land. Trying to be productive in a chaotic workspace is about as effective as trying to walk with your feet tied. You find yourself struggling to move but never getting anywhere. You make things much easier on yourself when you don’t have to spend time searching for things, and aren’t distracted by all the stuff around you. It’s also nice to not feel overwhelmed and frustrated by your surroundings. Feng Shui experts claim that your workspace represents your state of mind. The cleaner and more organized your workspace, the more balanced and focused your mind can be.
Habit 8: Not Sharing Experience
Do you have the habit of doing instead of teaching? Doing without explaining how you do it? Sharing your knowledge with others is an important part of talent management and a positive habit that renders everyone capable of sharing responsibilities and promoting group synergy. Take the time to show someone how something is done. Let them ask you questions until they understand. The more everyone knows about how to do each other’s job, the more effectively you work as a whole.
Habit 9: Sharing Too Many Experiences
If you find yourself sharing personal information even when you haven’t been asked, you’re probably sharing too much. The over-sharers are often very open about their personal problems, and thrive on drama. The risk in constantly volunteering stories about your personal life is that these stories (or you) can become the subject of ridicule at work. Try to leave your personal issues outside of work. When you’re at work, really BE at work. Learn to channel the stresses you experience in your personal life into productivity in your professional one.
Habit 10: Always Taking Things Personally
Aim for success not perfection ~Dr. David M. Burns
Sometimes we interpret harmless feedback as a personal attack. It’s not easy to swallow criticism, even if it isn’t meant to be critical of us. The intent is usually constructive and aims to help you excel in what you do. Keep telling yourself that the intent is not to demean or hurt your feelings but to help you grow, learn and improve.
Much of our life has been pre-programmed by our past behavior, but that doesn’t mean we’re unable to change our paths. It’s only once we’ve recognized our patterns and behaviors that we can work to replace our negative routines, with positive ones. As Aristotle says, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”