Vanity vs Gratitude

I’ve been watching lately some Hollywood’s box office movies. I soon realized there were many similar messages they were sending to the young audience they are intended for, for example:

- Bullying individuals were pretty people, whether boys or girls.

- People with brains (not particularly keen on partying wild and showing off) were either ugly or ‘needed a makeover’ (needed to be fixed in one way or another).

- Promiscuous individuals are more popular and successful (mostly well off).

- Dressing as minimally as possible (especially if one has a great body) is a sign that the guy or girl is attractive, confident, sexy, cool, popular and successful, like a guy with his shirt off or a girl whose dress is open and short, etc.

These were some of the messages that jumped out at me repetitively as I was watching.

This has also brought me to think that perfecting all those requirements (great body, money, fancy clothes or cars, etc) to look and be successful or popular do not really lead to happiness. Most of the time, those perfect-looking people are looking for something that makes them feel complete inside.  If they couldn’t find it, they constantly look for sedatives (a wild fling, drugs, pills, alcohol, etc.) to help them get through time, forget and move on. They also look ‘cool’ as they do so. So this does highlight the spiritual/emotional gap that results from their lifestyle and the daily choices they are making.

This led me to contemplate the difference between vanity and gratitude. I realized that being vain means contributing every blessing one has to oneself, such as saying to oneself: I am beautiful because I am better, I have a nice body because I am not lazy and I workout, I have a big house and a big car because I am successful and rich, I have a sexy partner because I wouldn’t settle with anything else, I have a career because I want power, I have children because I want others to see the great parent I am and that I am ‘on-top-of-it-all’, I have great health and I am powerful, etc. Meanwhile, as this sounds like self-confidence, it does also imply a great degree of vanity and superiority; like I am the origin of everything I am and have. What contradicts this idea, however, is that there are ‘other’ attractive, hard-working, ambitious, confident, and cool people who may not be as successful, rich, healthy, fertile, etc. as they are.

I believe we are constantly driven to believe that we are the cause of our own blessings, like the recent books titles implying that we are our own god, genie, diva, miracle-maker, etc.  Whereas achieving one’s goals may lead to one’s happiness, it does not imply that the achievement of our goals ‘made possible’ was entirely attributed to us. What popular movies usually imply is that when you are, perfect-looking, sexy and smart, you are bound to succeed in life. On the other hand, I have seen and known real people with real lives who may just be doing a bit more than what those in movies do, and they may not look as 100% perfect as they do.

We are encouraged to believe that ‘things’ make us happy, but it is the opposite; it is us who bestow meanings upon things, and not vice versa. That being said, I don’t negate the psychological factor that does make us feel more confident when we achieve a goal, like having a great body, sexy clothes, wild friends, or being popular in our circle, etc. Yet, these are not happiness-making factors. Therefore, feeling vain because of the blessings you have does not mean you are happy or complete, especially that nothing is permanent in life; health, wealth, beauty, a successful career, etc. may be lost at any time, as we have seen during this recent recession, which has led a lot of people to fall prey to depression, mainly because when one sees oneself at the centre of that self-portrait, one is only focusing on one’s self and the fulfillment of one’s needs, wishes and desires. This emphasizes that one lives by oneself in this world, in isolation from others and ‘their’ needs and wishes that we can help them with. In other words, vanity thinking is seeking happiness through attaining proclaimed happiness requirements without seeing or caring for anyone else in the picture but oneself. It is the opposite of empathy, which growing our sense of self-worth and genuine happiness through seeking a noble life purpose through helping others and being attuned to their needs and wishes.

In coaching, coaches are encouraged to support clients to recognize blessings (minimal to bigger ones) in their daily life. They say it is proven in the science of the human psyche that feeling grateful significantly enhances one’s brain capability to think more productively and positively, and elevates negative emotions, like sadness, sorrow, anger, etc.

Feeling grateful means – even if you don’t believe that there is a God in the world who distributes blessings upon people – that you appreciate and count the privileges you have got, i.e. that you feel privileged because you have so and so of blessings that other people who are just as smart, successful, charming, attractive, healthy, fertile, well-off, etc. may not have. Therefore, when one gets oneself out of the centre of the fancy self-portrait one has drawn for oneself for years, and starts thinking that whatever one has is a privilege that deserves feeling grateful for. Then, one starts feeling that one has been endowed with them, and not ‘entitled’ to them.

This offers a fresh perspective on life and everything you have. If we believe we are entitled to what we have, we may take them for granted and become blind to the minimal and bigger privileges we have got. However, if we see everything we have as a privilege, then we start thinking positively about everything we consider about our lives, bodies, health, partners, etc. Simply because we start appreciating what we have, we grow our sense of satisfaction about it. This is where the feeling of gratitude develops. However, I’ve had someone asking me: But if I don’t believe there is a God in this world, who will I feel grateful for?

It was a pretty tricky question, because I personally do believe that there is a God in this world, and my feeling of satisfaction and gratitude towards everything He has blessed me with is the secret behind my resilience in life, despite all challenges. I pondered upon the guy’s question, then decided to ask him back: If you don’t believe there is a God in this world, who would you feel grateful for? It can’t be you who is the causing factor of everything you have got. For example, you were not the reason behind your good looks when you were born. Nor is it up to you to stop yourself from having cancer or an accident, because we have seen perfectly healthy people dying due to both of these despite their healthy, organic and safe lifestyles. If you didn’t die in an accident or by cancer, old age will do the trick. But how do you know until when you are going to live?

He was silent for a while, and contemplated my questions, then said: I definitely feel I am grateful for having what I have, simply as I see my friends don’t have half of what I have, even though we almost worked in the same companies and graduated from similar reputable universities. Then, we went on to talk about luck. This is definitely taking me away from the core subject of this article, but it was a conversation worth mentioning, as it helped us delve into deep thoughts and questions typically people – on the run – don’t bother themselves to think about.

All in all, vanity is feeling we ‘control’ what we have, and this is a false conception. The recession has taught us that nothing is fixed and permanent. Not only that, but also diseases, airplane crashes, earthquakes, etc. Vanity – or thinking one is the source of his/her own blessings – may lead one to severe depression if things do no go the way s/he intended them to do.

On the other hand, gratitude is appreciating and seeing life for what it is. This inspires us to see even the most mundane blessings as gifts that we did not sweat for. For example, silence at night is a great gift. I have lived in countries where building and constructions workers do not stop working on weekends or even in the evening when people put their kids to sleep. Other countries are war-stricken, and kids have to sleep despite sounds of bombs and gunshots that become a habitual happening in their neighborhoods. Not only silence at night, but on the weekends, in the evening, the ability to clearly hear birds singing early in the morning, the soft breeze that gently touches your cheeks as you stand in front of a water landscape, the beauty of nature, the cuteness of our kids, the genuine care of our loved ones, our ability to hear, see, touch and smell, etc. There is so much to be grateful for, and I do not believe we – people on the run – are the causing factor of them all. We are too busy to see these simple blessings but they are there. Believe it or not, it is us who can make the choice to appreciate them or not, to think that despite any hardships we may be going through there are still some good things to derive from them and to enjoy around us, and finally, I personally find the gift of life as the best gift ever, because every minute is a chance to turn oneself life around the way you want. This is an opportunity that is unavailable in any other domain in our lives (work, parenthood, commitments, loans, etc.)

What do you think?

Hurry Up and Be Still: Freedom From Adrenaline Dependence

As I’ve been researching more and more into the topic Adrenaline Dependence, I have come across the following useful article. I’ve read several articles on the topic but this one seems to capture some interesting thoughts… food for thought.

The first time I came across the concept of Adrenaline Dependence, I felt like a dark cover was lifted off of my eyes. Many people I know closely are tied into this never-ending web of busyness. People – even on the scarce spare time – look addictively for things to keep them busy or capture their attentions. Meanwhile, they may miss the opportunity of having some quality time by themselves in a quiet and peaceful place in their homes or gardens, or with their loved ones.

Seems like in this day and age, we are deprived of “peace of mind”. We’re constantly looking for something to do, read about, involve ourselves in, even if that was on the expense of other things that are equally important (particularly emotionally important to us), like making up for a missed tennis session that our kid was playing in, or not being able to play with our toddlers at home, because we’re trying to prove to ourselves that we can do “better” and “more intelligent” things in that time.

Some people have come across peace of mind sometime in their lives, and continued to cherish it as an important part of their days and lives even. Those are the ones that look most in control of what they wish to be doing in their lives.

What I love about this article is that it invites us to reconnect with God. Whatever it is your religion, make sure you connect with it. Spirituality is food for our souls, just like food is nutritious to our bodies. By only catering to our bodily or physical needs (connected to our physical world) is like living half a life, or like a life half-lived. Since we are half body, half soul. So which side do you feed more often?

Read on and enjoy:

Hurry Up and Be Still: Freedom From Adrenaline Dependence  

Source: http://www.soulshepherding.org/articles/overcoming-problems/hurry-up-and-be-still-freedom-from-adrenaline-dependence/

By Bill Gaultiere © 2002

“How are you?” my friend asked me on the phone.

“Busy,” I replied.

“What else is new?” he laughed.  “Ever since we roomed together in college I’ve admired how disciplined and productive you are.”

Years later, I still think about that exchange.  Although it was opposite of my friend’s intention, I realized then that I was too busy.  Like so many people in our culture, I was relying on adrenaline to keep up.  Since then I’ve been learning to stop rushing around doing “urgent” things, slow down, get in tune with my soul, and interact more with God and other people.

It’s all in the Adrenaline

Archibald Hart, author of The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress, believes that “adrenaline dependence” has become the greatest addiction problem in America today.  People actually become “hooked” on the energy, pleasure, and confidence that come when the body’s stress hormones – primarily adrenaline and cortisol – are released in emergencies.

God has designed our bodies wonderfully and it is a great gift that we have this instinctive, adrenal “fight or flight” response to danger that infuses us with vitality and well-being.

Adrenaline alerts us to grab our child’s hand at the curb when a car races by.  It gives us confidence when we are giving a big presentation. It energizes us when we need to overcome a challenge or work through a stressful conflict.  It cushions us when we get bad news.  We need adrenaline to handle real life emergencies like these.

But it’s a problem for us when we live our lives in a continual state of urgency, viewing daily stresses as emergencies. Perhaps you relate to one or more of these common examples of being “keyed up” with adrenaline:

• Hurrying from one thing to the next, each more “imperative” than the last.
• Doing two or three things at once to save time.
• Jump starting ourselves with caffeine (an adrenaline stimulant) to get going in the morning, to stay alert in the afternoon, or to get psyched up before a meeting.
• Passing cars on the freeway.
• Counting people’s items in the “short order” grocery line.
• Thinking about what we else have to do when someone is talking to us.
• Working hard even into the late evening hours.
• Grinding our teeth at night as we worry about all that we didn’t get done!

Why Depend on Adrenaline?

For help managing life.  That’s the short answer.

Many business people rely on adrenaline to get through their 50-hour workweek.

Even parents may depend on it to deal with their children and get them from one activity to the next.

Students who go to classes and work all day and then study late into the night use it to stay alert while depriving themselves of sleep.

It seems like we have so much we have to do and our society is changing so fast – we feel we must get keyed up to keep up!

Besides, everyone else is doing it, aren’t they?  Doesn’t everyone rely on coffee and other caffeinated drinks to stay in top form?  Isn’t it normal to live in a hurry going from one pressure to the next?  Indeed, it seems that way.

The fast-paced, super-productive, determined life of those who rely on adrenaline is not only socially acceptable, it’s admired and rewarded in our society, perhaps especially so in our Christian culture.  Certainly, this reinforcement of other people around us is another reason why we depend on adrenaline.

But I think the most important reason why so many people get hooked on adrenaline is simply because it feels good! And without it they don’t feel good.

Like people struggling with other types of compulsive behaviors, adrenaline addicts have an underlying depression.  Without adrenaline flowing they feel empty inside.  And they may feel inadequate or insignificant.  So they keep getting keyed up.  They take on pressures and they hurry things.  They find something new, challenging, or exciting to get themselves stimulated.

Without realizing it, they keep calling up adrenaline to help them feel alive and important.

Are You Depending on Adrenaline?

As I illustrated at the start of this article, I am an “adrenaline addict in recovery.”

My name, “William,” (“Will I Am!”) actually means, “determined.” Sometimes it seems as if I have been programmed to be productive, hurried, and intense.

Fortunately, I’ve gotten help.  I’m still in process and have to watch myself closely, but I’ve learned some things about replacing adrenaline dependence with soul care.  And I’ve had the opportunity to help other “junkies” step off the treadmill of a hurried life and onto the path of a soul-full life.  So if I’m hitting a nerve for you, keep reading.

The first step to recovery from any compulsion is admitting to your problem.

And the best way to spot it if you (or someone you’re concerned about) is an adrenaline depender is to understand what you’re like when you’re not running your life at a fast pace.  When adrenaline addicts slow down they are not happy.  So they try not to slow down!

When people who go through their typical day all keyed up relax – say on weekends, in the evening before bed, or on vacation – they experience withdrawal symptoms like these:

• A compulsion to get busy, be more productive, or be stimulated with noise or activity
• Emptiness, boredom, and depressed mood
• Feelings of guilt about being idle
• Irritability or loss of temper
• Worrying about work that needs to be done
• Fidgetiness or restlessness (e.g., pacing, finger or foot tapping, fast gum chewing)
• Utter exhaustion

Take my self-test, “Are You Dependent on Adrenaline?”

The Price of a Hurried Life

Living under the pressure of urgency or being keyed up is costly.

In addition to experiencing the periodic unpleasant withdrawal symptoms described above, people who live with adrenaline surging through their bodies regularly suffer from things like anxiety, rapid heartbeats, headaches, backaches, gastric distress, and sleep problems.  And they dramatically increase their risk of stress-related illnesses ranging from viruses and ulcers to heart disease and cancer.

I think that the most serious consequence of an adrenaline-driven lifestyle (one with eternal significance) is that it crowds out God.  You become a “human-doing” instead of a human being.  Life is lacking in the things that are most enjoyable and meaningful: loving relationships, delightful experiences, creative expression, passionate pursuits, and spirituality.  God, when you do focus on Him, seems distant and unconcerned or like a harsh taskmaster.

More Sleep, Less Adrenaline

Recently I read an excerpt from Rest: Experiencing God’s Peace in a Restless World, a book by Siang-Yang Tan, Ph.D.  The article on Crosswalk.com caught my attention because the title was “Go to Bed.” 

Go to Bed? I thought.  Like most adrenaline junkies I’m used to thinking things like, “Sleep Less, Accomplish More” or “How to Get More Done in Less Time,” but not “Go to Bed!”

Dr. Tan is right though.  A recent poll by the National Sleep Foundation (Yes, such an organization does exist!) found that 63% of Americans sleep less than eight hours a night during the week, with 35% sleeping less than seven hours.

Tan cited a study, which showed that when people were given the opportunity to sleep as much as they wanted they slept an average of 8 ½ hours, and they reported feeling happier and more energetic.  I believe this is because sleep is one of the vital ways that we need to rejuvenate our bodies and minds from the stresses and adrenaline surges of the day.

You see, you can’t live without some adrenaline.  It’s appropriate and good for you to draw on adrenaline in times of true emergency or in order to tackle a very important challenge.

The critical issue is that you come down from times of stimulation and intensity.  You need a recovery period so that you can rest and recuperate your body and mind.  This means times of relaxation during your day, as well as regular vacations to really “get away.”

Let me share an example.  One of the ways I like to unwind from the stresses of a typical day is to go in the Jacuzzi with my wife Kristi.  It’s so refreshing to sit in the spa, feel the heat and pulsating bubbles, enjoy the flowers in our garden, and talk.  It seems I can feel the adrenaline drain from my body!  Not only does this help me to de-stress, but also it helps me to get ready for a good night’s sleep.  That is so much more restful than catching up on all my e-mail!

If you’re having trouble relaxing and getting to sleep or you’re not waking up feeling refreshed then consider Dr. Tan’s advice (I’ve added some of my own thoughts too) on how to sleep well.  This advice also applies to getting free from adrenaline dependence!

• Allow yourself enough sleep each night, probably 8 hours (or more!)
• Avoid adrenaline stimulating activities in the evening (e.g., pressure, busyness, excitement, noise)
• Turn off the TV or computer earlier
• Turn down the lights in the evening to trigger production of melatonin, a hormone for sleep
• Stay away from caffeine, spicy foods, and sweets in the evening
• Take some time in the evening to relax, do nothing, or enjoy something soothing
• Go to bed and get up at the same time each day
• Unclutter your mind before going to bed by verbalizing your thoughts and feelings to a friend, to God in prayer, or to yourself by journaling
• Use relaxation techniques like slow, deep breathing and meditation on Scripture
• Exercise
• If you awake in the night try to stay in bed and relax
• Avoid long-term use of sleeping pills

Rest in God’s Care

Rest is so important that it’s part of the 4^th commandment to remember the Sabbath. The Sabbath connects rest with worship (Exodus 34:21).

Even many Christians ignore this commandment (except that they may go to church) by rationalizing that Jesus undid it.  That’s not true!  Jesus didn’t come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it! (Matthew 5:17)  He removed the legalism that the religious leaders added to the Sabbath so that people could do things like feed themselves and their animals and care for those in need without the imposition of silly restrictions.

And Jesus taught that he was Lord of the Sabbath (Matthew 12:8) and that the Sabbath was made for man’s benefit, not the reverse (Mark 2:27).

As the writer of Hebrews wrote, “There remains, then, a Sabbath rest for the people of God… Therefore make every effort to enter that rest” (Hebrews 4:9,11).  Today we need this Sabbath rest more than ever!

Was Getting Rest a Problem in Jesus’ Day?

In the first century it seems that rest was more a part of people’s lives, certainly that of Jesus and the apostles. No business or work was done on the Sabbath.

Worship and meditation on Scripture were regularly part of most people’s lives.  Without electricity, their activity and work were more in sync with sunlight, leaving the evenings for relaxing and nighttime for sleeping more hours (as recently as 1850 people slept 9 ½ hours per night!).  Instead of speeding down roads and freeways they walked most places they went.  Families and communities were more connected.  Meals were lingered over.  Information was limited, as it was passed on mostly through word of mouth.

And yet, even 2,000 years ago people needed to be urged to “Make every effort to enter [God’s] rest” (Hebrews 4:11).

We need to “work” at caring for our souls. This includes practicing healthy lifestyle habits like remembering the Sabbath, getting enough sleep, exercising, relaxing in the evenings, enjoying restful meals with family and friends, and limiting the barrage of information the intrudes in our space each day – all things that were more naturally a part of life even just 100 years ago.

Soul Rest

The goal, not only for people with “hurry sickness”, but for everyone is to live with our souls at rest in God as we do all that we do. Jesus invites us into his “easy yoke” in Matthew 11:28-30:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Relying on God’s mercy and grace to us through Jesus is opposite of the adrenaline-driven life.  We learn to stop trying to control our lives and make things work out.  We work at not letting other people or things control our lives too.  Instead, we go to God (and His ambassadors in the Body of Christ).  He gives us love and blessings and we receive.  He gives us dreams and directions and we follow.

As Paul wrote, “In Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28).  To have our being in God is a matter of growing our faith by putting our trust in God and practicing spiritual disciplines to get ourselves in the position to rest in God and respond to Him.

Now is the Time to Be Still

What am I trying to say here?  What is the key to overcoming adrenaline dependence and relying God?  Loving the Lord who loved us first.  (Matthew 22:37, 1 John 4:19)  When I still my soul and open myself up to God I sense His presence and his peace which is far more wonderful than adrenaline!

• I see His beauty in the flowers.

• I hear His song in the birds.

• I experience His comfort in a friend.

• I read the Bible as His words to me.

• I feel the honor of doing His work in caring for those in need.

It begins with cultivating a quietness inside my soul, which doesn’t come naturally or easily for me!  As the verse from Hebrews above implores us, I have to “make every effort to enter God’s rest.”  I have to hurry up and be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

Why the hurry?  Because the only moment to experience God’s favor is right now (2 Corinthians 6:2) and it so quickly passes by in a blur of worries, pressures, and busyness.  Resting in God’s care right now is life’s one vital emergency with eternal consequences and it’s the only one that doesn’t rely on adrenaline!  If there is anything in life to be in a “hurry” about then that’s it.

You Can’t Hurry the Soul

Dr. John Ortberg, in his article “Taking Care of Busyness” (Leadership Magazine, Fall 1998) wrote that he asked a mentor of his, “What do I need to do to be spiritually healthy?”  There was a long pause and then the man replied, “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurriedness from your life.”  John then asked, “What else should I do?”  (Perhaps he didn’t like the first answer!)  After another long pause the mentor answered, “There is nothing else.”

What would your life look like if you lived life without being in a hurry?  If you slow down could you persevere through the depressing symptoms of adrenaline withdrawal to find out what’s on the other side?  Could you develop a more soul-full life?

You’d accomplish less.  You’d feel less important.  You might miss the buzz adrenaline gives.

But you’d have opportunities to invest more in your relationships with God, others, and yourself.  You could focus on becoming the person God has created you to be, enjoying His blessings, and sharing His love with others.

It’s worth it!  I know I’ve experienced the hurried life and the soul-full life.  And in my journey I’ve gone back and forth many times.  I’m learning to be patient with myself because I’ve learned that recovery from adrenaline dependence is a process that can’t be hurried.

Are We Wired for Empathy?

Source: http://www.6seconds.org/2012/01/16/mirror-neurons/

Published on Jan 16, 2012

What do mirror neurons teach about us about our empathy? This week, leading neuroscientist Marco Iacoboni visited with Six Seconds’ Master Class in Pajaro Dunes, California, for an oceanside chat on mirror neurons and their relationship to empathy and learning.  A few of us collected some of the takeaways:

What are Mirror Neurons?

Mirror neurons are “smart cells” in our brains that allow us to understand others’ actions, intentions, and feelings. The mirror neurons are in many areas of our brains, and they fire when we perform an action such as grasping an apple, and similarly we see others doing it.  As it turns out, our mirror neurons fire when we experience an emotion and similarly when we see others experiencing an emotion, such as happiness, fear, anger, or sadness. When we see someone being sad, for example, our mirror neurons fire and that allows us to experience the same sadness and to feel empathy.  We don’t need to “think” about the other person being sad, we actually experience it firsthand.  The reaction of mirror neurons allows us to socialize and communicate with others as we read their facial expressions. There is also an important ability to dampen this reaction, and there are several centers in our brains that act as “brakes” to keep us from becoming too caught up in others’ experiences. This process can have profound implications for our relationships.

Interestingly, human mirror neuron networks are stimulated in response to actions which are apparently meaningless, indicating a tendency to spontaneously model any and all movements by others (Giacomo Rizzolatti, Fogassi, & Gallese, 2001).

The Chameleon Effect

Professor Iacoboni explained that mirror neurons are the reason for the “chameleon effect” which is the brain-to-brain imitation of postures, mannerisms, and facial expressions.  It’s what causes adults to smile when they see a baby smiling.  He also said that people who are more empathetic exhibit the chameleon effect to a greater extent that other people do.  This is an automatic “matching” that causes humans to connect – even if they’re not aware of the connection.

Broken Mirror Neurons

Professor Iacoboni mentioned that children on the Autism Spectrum may struggle with social interaction because their mirror neuron systems are not functioning properly.  The discovery of mirror neuron deficiencies in people with autism opens up new approaches to diagnosing and treating the disorder.

Modeling

Inspired by Professor Iacoboni’s keynote presentation, we discussed the link between role modeling and the neuroscience of mirror neurons.  Modeling occurs because we can consciously and unconsciously observe someone and learn from them.  We can intentionally improve our abilities by paying attention to someone who is skilled in a particular area.  Iacoboni said that one of the first elements of learning is observing others, and we automatically begin to learn through this process.  We can intensify the learning by focusing on the role model and imagining ourselves doing what they do.  This is why we are committed to modeling excellence in emotional intelligence!  So if we are not achieving our desired results, we should “hang out” with people who are strong in these skills.

This seems to be true for emotions as well.  Through mirror neurons, emotions are contagious — so if we want to be more joyful (for example), a powerful action is to spend time with people who are full of joy.

Leadership

The power of mirror neurons is another compelling reason that leaders need to take responsibility for their own actions and choices.  People are literally mirroring the leader’s actions — and the leader’s emotions. Simply showing up with more ideal behavior and an intentional emotional state is an important part of imparting these qualities to others.   Since mirror neurons are “always on” leaders have a huge responsibility to monitor and manage themselves as role models.

Empathy

Iacoboni repeatedly reminded us that we are, literally, wired to connect.  Humans are social, and empathy is a fundamental component of the human condition.  In the new Afterword to his fascinating book, Mirroring People, Professor Iacoboni points to the importance of this groundbreaking research.  Mirror neurons “help us to be empathic and fundamentally attuned to other people.  This is perhaps the most important finding of all, and it is a beautiful one.”

To hear more about these concepts, listen to this dialogue between Professor Iacoboni and the Dalai Lama during “Happiness and its Causes” conference.

Business Case For Coaching

Check out this article on why companies hire coaches:

Business Case For Coaching.

via Business Case For Coaching.

Reframe Your Perspective, See Life From Different Angles

Develop a habit of trying to interpret any situation from at least two different perspectives. This will dramatically influence your levels of optimism toward that matter, and the quality of the choices you are going to make accordingly.

Check out this interesting clip by Daniel Simons that describes about “Seeing The World As It Isn’t”.