Hurry Up and Be Still: Freedom From Adrenaline Dependence

As I’ve been researching more and more into the topic Adrenaline Dependence, I have come across the following useful article. I’ve read several articles on the topic but this one seems to capture some interesting thoughts… food for thought.

The first time I came across the concept of Adrenaline Dependence, I felt like a dark cover was lifted off of my eyes. Many people I know closely are tied into this never-ending web of busyness. People – even on the scarce spare time – look addictively for things to keep them busy or capture their attentions. Meanwhile, they may miss the opportunity of having some quality time by themselves in a quiet and peaceful place in their homes or gardens, or with their loved ones.

Seems like in this day and age, we are deprived of “peace of mind”. We’re constantly looking for something to do, read about, involve ourselves in, even if that was on the expense of other things that are equally important (particularly emotionally important to us), like making up for a missed tennis session that our kid was playing in, or not being able to play with our toddlers at home, because we’re trying to prove to ourselves that we can do “better” and “more intelligent” things in that time.

Some people have come across peace of mind sometime in their lives, and continued to cherish it as an important part of their days and lives even. Those are the ones that look most in control of what they wish to be doing in their lives.

What I love about this article is that it invites us to reconnect with God. Whatever it is your religion, make sure you connect with it. Spirituality is food for our souls, just like food is nutritious to our bodies. By only catering to our bodily or physical needs (connected to our physical world) is like living half a life, or like a life half-lived. Since we are half body, half soul. So which side do you feed more often?

Read on and enjoy:

Hurry Up and Be Still: Freedom From Adrenaline Dependence  

Source:
http://www.soulshepherding.org/articles/overcoming-problems/hurry-up-and-be-still-freedom-from-adrenaline-dependence/

By Bill Gaultiere © 2002

“How are you?” my friend asked me on the phone.

“Busy,” I replied.

“What else is new?” he laughed.  “Ever since we roomed together in college I’ve admired how disciplined and productive you are.”

Years later, I still think about that exchange.  Although it was opposite of my friend’s intention, I realized then that I was too busy.  Like so many people in our culture, I was relying on adrenaline to keep up.  Since then I’ve been learning to stop rushing around doing “urgent” things, slow down, get in tune with my soul, and interact more with God and other people.

It’s all in the Adrenaline

Archibald Hart, author of The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress, believes that “adrenaline dependence” has become the greatest addiction problem in America today.  People actually become “hooked” on the energy, pleasure, and confidence that come when the body’s stress hormones – primarily adrenaline and cortisol – are released in emergencies.

God has designed our bodies wonderfully and it is a great gift that we have this instinctive, adrenal “fight or flight” response to danger that infuses us with vitality and well-being.

Adrenaline alerts us to grab our child’s hand at the curb when a car races by.  It gives us confidence when we are giving a big presentation. It energizes us when we need to overcome a challenge or work through a stressful conflict.  It cushions us when we get bad news.  We need adrenaline to handle real life emergencies like these.

But it’s a problem for us when we live our lives in a continual state of urgency, viewing daily stresses as emergencies. Perhaps you relate to one or more of these common examples of being “keyed up” with adrenaline:

• Hurrying from one thing to the next, each more “imperative” than the last.
• Doing two or three things at once to save time.
• Jump starting ourselves with caffeine (an adrenaline stimulant) to get going in the morning, to stay alert in the afternoon, or to get psyched up before a meeting.
• Passing cars on the freeway.
• Counting people’s items in the “short order” grocery line.
• Thinking about what we else have to do when someone is talking to us.
• Working hard even into the late evening hours.
• Grinding our teeth at night as we worry about all that we didn’t get done!

Why Depend on Adrenaline?

For help managing life.  That’s the short answer.

Many business people rely on adrenaline to get through their 50-hour workweek.

Even parents may depend on it to deal with their children and get them from one activity to the next.

Students who go to classes and work all day and then study late into the night use it to stay alert while depriving themselves of sleep.

It seems like we have so much we have to do and our society is changing so fast – we feel we must get keyed up to keep up!

Besides, everyone else is doing it, aren’t they?  Doesn’t everyone rely on coffee and other caffeinated drinks to stay in top form?  Isn’t it normal to live in a hurry going from one pressure to the next?  Indeed, it seems that way.

The fast-paced, super-productive, determined life of those who rely on adrenaline is not only socially acceptable, it’s admired and rewarded in our society, perhaps especially so in our Christian culture.  Certainly, this reinforcement of other people around us is another reason why we depend on adrenaline.

But I think the most important reason why so many people get hooked on adrenaline is simply because it feels good! And without it they don’t feel good.

Like people struggling with other types of compulsive behaviors, adrenaline addicts have an underlying depression.  Without adrenaline flowing they feel empty inside.  And they may feel inadequate or insignificant.  So they keep getting keyed up.  They take on pressures and they hurry things.  They find something new, challenging, or exciting to get themselves stimulated.

Without realizing it, they keep calling up adrenaline to help them feel alive and important.

Are You Depending on Adrenaline?

As I illustrated at the start of this article, I am an “adrenaline addict in recovery.”

My name, “William,” (“Will I Am!”) actually means, “determined.” Sometimes it seems as if I have been programmed to be productive, hurried, and intense.

Fortunately, I’ve gotten help.  I’m still in process and have to watch myself closely, but I’ve learned some things about replacing adrenaline dependence with soul care.  And I’ve had the opportunity to help other “junkies” step off the treadmill of a hurried life and onto the path of a soul-full life.  So if I’m hitting a nerve for you, keep reading.

The first step to recovery from any compulsion is admitting to your problem.

And the best way to spot it if you (or someone you’re concerned about) is an adrenaline depender is to understand what you’re like when you’re not running your life at a fast pace.  When adrenaline addicts slow down they are not happy.  So they try not to slow down!

When people who go through their typical day all keyed up relax – say on weekends, in the evening before bed, or on vacation – they experience withdrawal symptoms like these:

• A compulsion to get busy, be more productive, or be stimulated with noise or activity
• Emptiness, boredom, and depressed mood
• Feelings of guilt about being idle
• Irritability or loss of temper
• Worrying about work that needs to be done
• Fidgetiness or restlessness (e.g., pacing, finger or foot tapping, fast gum chewing)
• Utter exhaustion

Take my self-test, “Are You Dependent on Adrenaline?”

The Price of a Hurried Life

Living under the pressure of urgency or being keyed up is costly.

In addition to experiencing the periodic unpleasant withdrawal symptoms described above, people who live with adrenaline surging through their bodies regularly suffer from things like anxiety, rapid heartbeats, headaches, backaches, gastric distress, and sleep problems.  And they dramatically increase their risk of stress-related illnesses ranging from viruses and ulcers to heart disease and cancer.

I think that the most serious consequence of an adrenaline-driven lifestyle (one with eternal significance) is that it crowds out God.  You become a “human-doing” instead of a human being.  Life is lacking in the things that are most enjoyable and meaningful: loving relationships, delightful experiences, creative expression, passionate pursuits, and spirituality.  God, when you do focus on Him, seems distant and unconcerned or like a harsh taskmaster.

More Sleep, Less Adrenaline

Recently I read an excerpt from Rest: Experiencing God’s Peace in a Restless World, a book by Siang-Yang Tan, Ph.D.  The article on Crosswalk.com caught my attention because the title was “Go to Bed.” 

Go to Bed? I thought.  Like most adrenaline junkies I’m used to thinking things like, “Sleep Less, Accomplish More” or “How to Get More Done in Less Time,” but not “Go to Bed!”

Dr. Tan is right though.  A recent poll by the National Sleep Foundation (Yes, such an organization does exist!) found that 63% of Americans sleep less than eight hours a night during the week, with 35% sleeping less than seven hours.

Tan cited a study, which showed that when people were given the opportunity to sleep as much as they wanted they slept an average of 8 ½ hours, and they reported feeling happier and more energetic.  I believe this is because sleep is one of the vital ways that we need to rejuvenate our bodies and minds from the stresses and adrenaline surges of the day.

You see, you can’t live without some adrenaline.  It’s appropriate and good for you to draw on adrenaline in times of true emergency or in order to tackle a very important challenge.

The critical issue is that you come down from times of stimulation and intensity.  You need a recovery period so that you can rest and recuperate your body and mind.  This means times of relaxation during your day, as well as regular vacations to really “get away.”

Let me share an example.  One of the ways I like to unwind from the stresses of a typical day is to go in the Jacuzzi with my wife Kristi.  It’s so refreshing to sit in the spa, feel the heat and pulsating bubbles, enjoy the flowers in our garden, and talk.  It seems I can feel the adrenaline drain from my body!  Not only does this help me to de-stress, but also it helps me to get ready for a good night’s sleep.  That is so much more restful than catching up on all my e-mail!

If you’re having trouble relaxing and getting to sleep or you’re not waking up feeling refreshed then consider Dr. Tan’s advice (I’ve added some of my own thoughts too) on how to sleep well.  This advice also applies to getting free from adrenaline dependence!

• Allow yourself enough sleep each night, probably 8 hours (or more!)
• Avoid adrenaline stimulating activities in the evening (e.g., pressure, busyness, excitement, noise)
• Turn off the TV or computer earlier
• Turn down the lights in the evening to trigger production of melatonin, a hormone for sleep
• Stay away from caffeine, spicy foods, and sweets in the evening
• Take some time in the evening to relax, do nothing, or enjoy something soothing
• Go to bed and get up at the same time each day
• Unclutter your mind before going to bed by verbalizing your thoughts and feelings to a friend, to God in prayer, or to yourself by journaling
• Use relaxation techniques like slow, deep breathing and meditation on Scripture
• Exercise
• If you awake in the night try to stay in bed and relax
• Avoid long-term use of sleeping pills

Rest in God’s Care

Rest is so important that it’s part of the 4^th commandment to remember the Sabbath. The Sabbath connects rest with worship (Exodus 34:21).

Even many Christians ignore this commandment (except that they may go to church) by rationalizing that Jesus undid it.  That’s not true!  Jesus didn’t come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it! (Matthew 5:17)  He removed the legalism that the religious leaders added to the Sabbath so that people could do things like feed themselves and their animals and care for those in need without the imposition of silly restrictions.

And Jesus taught that he was Lord of the Sabbath (Matthew 12:8) and that the Sabbath was made for man’s benefit, not the reverse (Mark 2:27).

As the writer of Hebrews wrote, “There remains, then, a Sabbath rest for the people of God… Therefore make every effort to enter that rest” (Hebrews 4:9,11).  Today we need this Sabbath rest more than ever!

Was Getting Rest a Problem in Jesus’ Day?

In the first century it seems that rest was more a part of people’s lives, certainly that of Jesus and the apostles. No business or work was done on the Sabbath.

Worship and meditation on Scripture were regularly part of most people’s lives.  Without electricity, their activity and work were more in sync with sunlight, leaving the evenings for relaxing and nighttime for sleeping more hours (as recently as 1850 people slept 9 ½ hours per night!).  Instead of speeding down roads and freeways they walked most places they went.  Families and communities were more connected.  Meals were lingered over.  Information was limited, as it was passed on mostly through word of mouth.

And yet, even 2,000 years ago people needed to be urged to “Make every effort to enter [God’s] rest” (Hebrews 4:11).

We need to “work” at caring for our souls. This includes practicing healthy lifestyle habits like remembering the Sabbath, getting enough sleep, exercising, relaxing in the evenings, enjoying restful meals with family and friends, and limiting the barrage of information the intrudes in our space each day – all things that were more naturally a part of life even just 100 years ago.

Soul Rest

The goal, not only for people with “hurry sickness”, but for everyone is to live with our souls at rest in God as we do all that we do. Jesus invites us into his “easy yoke” in Matthew 11:28-30:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Relying on God’s mercy and grace to us through Jesus is opposite of the adrenaline-driven life.  We learn to stop trying to control our lives and make things work out.  We work at not letting other people or things control our lives too.  Instead, we go to God (and His ambassadors in the Body of Christ).  He gives us love and blessings and we receive.  He gives us dreams and directions and we follow.

As Paul wrote, “In Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28).  To have our being in God is a matter of growing our faith by putting our trust in God and practicing spiritual disciplines to get ourselves in the position to rest in God and respond to Him.

Now is the Time to Be Still

What am I trying to say here?  What is the key to overcoming adrenaline dependence and relying God?  Loving the Lord who loved us first.  (Matthew 22:37, 1 John 4:19)  When I still my soul and open myself up to God I sense His presence and his peace which is far more wonderful than adrenaline!

• I see His beauty in the flowers.

• I hear His song in the birds.

• I experience His comfort in a friend.

• I read the Bible as His words to me.

• I feel the honor of doing His work in caring for those in need.

It begins with cultivating a quietness inside my soul, which doesn’t come naturally or easily for me!  As the verse from Hebrews above implores us, I have to “make every effort to enter God’s rest.”  I have to hurry up and be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

Why the hurry?  Because the only moment to experience God’s favor is right now (2 Corinthians 6:2) and it so quickly passes by in a blur of worries, pressures, and busyness.  Resting in God’s care right now is life’s one vital emergency with eternal consequences and it’s the only one that doesn’t rely on adrenaline!  If there is anything in life to be in a “hurry” about then that’s it.

You Can’t Hurry the Soul

Dr. John Ortberg, in his article “Taking Care of Busyness” (Leadership Magazine, Fall 1998) wrote that he asked a mentor of his, “What do I need to do to be spiritually healthy?”  There was a long pause and then the man replied, “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurriedness from your life.”  John then asked, “What else should I do?”  (Perhaps he didn’t like the first answer!)  After another long pause the mentor answered, “There is nothing else.”

What would your life look like if you lived life without being in a hurry?  If you slow down could you persevere through the depressing symptoms of adrenaline withdrawal to find out what’s on the other side?  Could you develop a more soul-full life?

You’d accomplish less.  You’d feel less important.  You might miss the buzz adrenaline gives.

But you’d have opportunities to invest more in your relationships with God, others, and yourself.  You could focus on becoming the person God has created you to be, enjoying His blessings, and sharing His love with others.

It’s worth it!  I know I’ve experienced the hurried life and the soul-full life.  And in my journey I’ve gone back and forth many times.  I’m learning to be patient with myself because I’ve learned that recovery from adrenaline dependence is a process that can’t be hurried.

Martin Seligman on Flourishing

Martin Seligman on Flourishing.

 

Goodwill Thinking

Worry is a misuse of imagination. Dan Zadra

What I have learned from life and coaching is that most people spend more time worrying about troubles than actually thinking of preventing them from happening, or handling them positively after they do. Additionally, what I have learned from my Emotional Intelligence training and research into the brain science is that the tiny amygdala glands, located at the back of our brains, are responsible for having us react to physical as well as non-physical threats in a similar way, and sometimes in the same severity.

One of the main challenges of this age we live in is that most threats (dangers or calls for fear) are distant non-physical ones. They are likely to be perceived more intellectually than through our senses. Yet, our brains are still reacting towards them with similar kinds of chemical messages triggered throughout our bodies. In the past, when a stone man saw a lion, he would consider that an immediate threat, and would respond to it with an instant flight. However, nowadays, if matters related to the success of our work performance, or survival of our business goes badly, we may perceive them as an immediate threat, of which we remain stressed out for a while, even though we may be enjoying the safety and warmth of our homes or offices.

When a stone man fled the danger of facing a lion, he was releasing the built-up tension through physical activity (like running). Physical activity not only offered him an escape from an immediate threat, but also balanced out the adrenalin effect with other feel-good hormones that are normally triggered upon working out, walking, etc. On the other hand, the office person may not get the opportunity to release his/her tension the same way a stone man would. We rarely see a businessman in a suit running down the street. An employee’s feelings of fear may not find a immediate way to channel them out, like a physical activity, due to time restraint and the restrictions of social codes of proper demeanor. In fact, an employee may have a heart attack while sitting in front of his/ her own computer. Even though it is not a lion that might have scared them, but rather a perceived danger that equals to them a similar fear of death.

On the other hand, when fear sustains or builds up on daily basis without a proper channel to release it out, or proper mental contemplation of all the dimensions of the causing factors and possible ways to improve the situation, it turns into a constant stress and prevailing anxiety, which can be described as a prolonged case of perceived danger. If the brain and body think they are constantly being exposed to danger, each day a flood of chemicals will continue to expand its negative effects on them without proper re-channeling of these negative feelings, and this may lead to dangerous health problems.

Therefore, what is required from all of us who live in this day and age, is a positive/ productive perspective, with which we can balance out the modern, complex and stressful challenges. A proper shift in perspective can prove very powerful when it comes to solving a problem. New solutions unfold before our eyes that we may have never thought of before. Although fear (stress) as an instinctive reaction had been built in inside us to help us survive and protect ourselves from danger, thinking while one is relaxed is much more fruitful and successful in supporting us to survive and overcome our troubles.

All of us have problems, but we rarely think of them as positive differentiators from the rest of the people, since our problems tell a story about our lives, they tend to make us unique in that respect, for they can better equip us to handle them as they happen, and allow us to help others who go through similar challenges. Our problems endow our experiences with authenticity. You may not accept advice from someone who has never tasted the same pains you had in the past. Rather, you may be more prone to believing in someone who had been through the same obstacles and problems as you have, and has overcome them successfully in a way that you admire.

Many people may look at their past with a degree of sadness, regret, anger or frustration. Few are the ones who would relate to you the positive side of past experiences. Others may only remember the bad incidents. That can be the result of the significance of their emotional memories of those bad events. On the other hand, changing previously formed underlying beliefs may feel fearful to many of us, even though it may be to our benefit. I have commonly noticed among many people I have spoken with that it is easier and more reassuring for them to hold on to past negative memories and beliefs than committing to new positive perspectives. These people rarely stop to realize that by holding on to past negative emotional memories, they are subconsciously perpetuating the past negative effect of those memories, and refreshing them inside our brains to an extent that we can almost immediately recover all the feelings associated with them. Holding on to past negative underlying beliefs is like convincing ourselves of a fake sense of safety, out of fear of change. For instance, the more we hang on to fearful or hurtful memories, we are falsely protecting ourselves from potential similar experiences in the future. Rather, we are subconsciously sustaining our sadness, pain, hurt, or fear, and may be rejecting the opportunity of a possible and more positive change.

So dragging one’s fears from the past into the present all along to the future, we are not leaving space for unknown future outcomes, which may be positive indeed. Stressing over a matter for a long time, wastes one’s energy, instead of harboring it. This may not be the best formula for achieving future success or happiness, as it does not lead us to feel empowered in the field we wish to seek happiness from. Life’s happenings are fast and many, so if we couple that with the heavy burdens from the past (namely fears, pains, negative perspectives, etc.), then we are setting ourselves for disappointment, falling as prey for stronger competitors, and losing faith in whatever it is that we wish to achieve in life. Time has proven that in times of ordeal, stronger species continue to exist. Strong does not mean “devoid of fear”, but rather “acting productively to overcome fear”.

One of the examples of strong personalities in movies was Scarlet O’hara, who had been through almost every embarrassing situation on the face of the earth, but constantly managed to get out of it with grace, beauty and much pride. One of the sentences that she  constantly repeated whenever she was feeling stressed, overwhelmed or burdened by something was: “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” (imdb.com) What a powerful statement! Not only can she purposefully disconnect from her miserable present, she can also control when she would want to think again about it. Wouldn’t this make you realize that feelings, thoughts or even actions are merely choices that we make? Why we make them the way we do is a different case, but they are – at the end of the day – choices. Isn’t this perspective more empowering than feeling blocked or victimized by others? Notice what kind of energy fills you when you realize that you can make more powerful/ positive choices, even with the way you feel about things!

This is where the importance of harboring the habit of goodwill thinking becomes important. Goodwill Thinking is being able to see the positive side of things, regardless of their negativity, and contributing that to the belief that something better is being set up for us in the horizon. The opposite of Goodwill Thinking is Progressive Bitterness towards life, God, or whatever it is that people may deem responsible for their misery.

Generally, in life, when we do what we have got to do, there isn’t really much we can do next to control the outcome of our actions. However, if we change our perspective from a negative one into believing that there is a bigger, stronger and more fair force in the world that has been responsible for ages for maintaining immaculate balance in the entire universe, with all the living and non-living elements it contains, we then may feel supported and privileged that whatever happens – even negative happenings – are there to teach us valuable life lessons. Some lessons may have been harsh or cruel, but with a proper contemplation of the possible lessons derived from them, one may be able to salvage him/ herself or others as a result of this knowledge. When we help others, we help ourselves. Therefore, these lessons came to our as well as others’ benefit. Most people may not believe this, but if they view their experiences from a kind perspective, they may stop judging life, God, or whatever it is that made them miserable. Rather, upon accepting kind thoughts, one then can feel even more powerful, successful and effective.

Goodwill Thinking is the habit of interpreting life’s events from a positive perspective, and trying to maintain hope by seeing them as valuable lessons to use in our future actions. Having faith in a much stronger force frees us from feeling trapped, subdued and pressured to control every single detail or predict their outcome in our lives. On the other hand, this is not to exclude self-responsibility as a key factor in achieving the results we wish to achieve. However, after doing everything we can, and following the plan we had set for our actions, there isn’t much we can do next to control their outcome. We may then want to believe that even if we do not get the desired results, there may be a better alternative awaiting us.

If we trust that the strong and fair force in the world will eventually grant us the results we had planned for or even something better, we may then feel more settled and at peace (i.e. achieving a positive closure of the past so we can start afresh or moving towards the future with optimism). If we do not get what we want, we can either interpret this as the thing we had sought after for a while was never good for us in the first place, or that something else needs to be done to get to it. Things happen for a reason, and no matter how much we stress about achieving them, things continue to fall in their right places.

Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway. Mary C. Crowley

Related articles

• Stepping Into The Unknown With Determination (wisdomwithinus.wordpress.com)
• Lee-Anne Peters – Are Worries Ruling Your Life? – 18 April 2012 (lucas2012infos.wordpress.com)
• You become your thoughts, so discern EVERYTHING (michellesantos.wordpress.com)
• Challenge Your Worried Thinking (georgesecko.wordpress.com)

Are We Wired for Empathy?

Source:
http://www.6seconds.org/2012/01/16/mirror-neurons/

Published on Jan 16, 2012

What do mirror neurons teach about us about our empathy? This week, leading neuroscientist Marco Iacoboni visited with Six Seconds’ Master Class in Pajaro Dunes, California, for an oceanside chat on mirror neurons and their relationship to empathy and learning.  A few of us collected some of the takeaways:

What are Mirror Neurons?

Mirror neurons are “smart cells” in our brains that allow us to understand others’ actions, intentions, and feelings. The mirror neurons are in many areas of our brains, and they fire when we perform an action such as grasping an apple, and similarly we see others doing it.  As it turns out, our mirror neurons fire when we experience an emotion and similarly when we see others experiencing an emotion, such as happiness, fear, anger, or sadness. When we see someone being sad, for example, our mirror neurons fire and that allows us to experience the same sadness and to feel empathy.  We don’t need to “think” about the other person being sad, we actually experience it firsthand.  The reaction of mirror neurons allows us to socialize and communicate with others as we read their facial expressions. There is also an important ability to dampen this reaction, and there are several centers in our brains that act as “brakes” to keep us from becoming too caught up in others’ experiences. This process can have profound implications for our relationships.

Interestingly, human mirror neuron networks are stimulated in response to actions which are apparently meaningless, indicating a tendency to spontaneously model any and all movements by others (Giacomo Rizzolatti, Fogassi, & Gallese, 2001).

The Chameleon Effect

Professor Iacoboni explained that mirror neurons are the reason for the “chameleon effect” which is the brain-to-brain imitation of postures, mannerisms, and facial expressions.  It’s what causes adults to smile when they see a baby smiling.  He also said that people who are more empathetic exhibit the chameleon effect to a greater extent that other people do.  This is an automatic “matching” that causes humans to connect – even if they’re not aware of the connection.

Broken Mirror Neurons

Professor Iacoboni mentioned that children on the Autism Spectrum may struggle with social interaction because their mirror neuron systems are not functioning properly.  The discovery of mirror neuron deficiencies in people with autism opens up new approaches to diagnosing and treating the disorder.

Modeling

Inspired by Professor Iacoboni’s keynote presentation, we discussed the link between role modeling and the neuroscience of mirror neurons.  Modeling occurs because we can consciously and unconsciously observe someone and learn from them.  We can intentionally improve our abilities by paying attention to someone who is skilled in a particular area.  Iacoboni said that one of the first elements of learning is observing others, and we automatically begin to learn through this process.  We can intensify the learning by focusing on the role model and imagining ourselves doing what they do.  This is why we are committed to modeling excellence in emotional intelligence!  So if we are not achieving our desired results, we should “hang out” with people who are strong in these skills.

This seems to be true for emotions as well.  Through mirror neurons, emotions are contagious — so if we want to be more joyful (for example), a powerful action is to spend time with people who are full of joy.

Leadership

The power of mirror neurons is another compelling reason that leaders need to take responsibility for their own actions and choices.  People are literally mirroring the leader’s actions — and the leader’s emotions. Simply showing up with more ideal behavior and an intentional emotional state is an important part of imparting these qualities to others.   Since mirror neurons are “always on” leaders have a huge responsibility to monitor and manage themselves as role models.

Empathy

Iacoboni repeatedly reminded us that we are, literally, wired to connect.  Humans are social, and empathy is a fundamental component of the human condition.  In the new Afterword to his fascinating book, Mirroring People, Professor Iacoboni points to the importance of this groundbreaking research.  Mirror neurons “help us to be empathic and fundamentally attuned to other people.  This is perhaps the most important finding of all, and it is a beautiful one.”

To hear more about these concepts, listen to this dialogue between Professor Iacoboni and the Dalai Lama during “Happiness and its Causes” conference.

Aspartame exposed – GM Bacteria used to create deadly sweetener

naturalnews.com printable article:
http://www.naturalnews.com/z030918_aspartame_GM_bacteria.html

Originally published January 5 2011

Aspartame exposed – GM Bacteria used to create deadly sweetener

by Anthony Gucciardi

(NaturalNews) The manufacturers of the most prevalent sweetener in the world have a secret, and it`s not a sweet one. Aspartame, an artificial sweetener found in thousands of products worldwide, has been found to be created using genetically modified (GM) bacteria. What`s even more shocking is how long this information has been known. A 1999 article by The Independent was the first to expose the abominable process in which aspartame was created. Ironically, the discovery was made around the same time as rich leaders around the globe met at the G8 Summit to discuss the safety of GM foods.

The 1999 investigation found that Monsanto, the largest biotech corporation in the world, often used GM bacteria to produce aspartame in their US production plants. The end result is a fusion between two of the largest health hazards to ever hit the food industry — artificial sweeteners and an array of genetically altered organisms. Both have led to large-scale debate, with aspartame being the subject of multiple congressional hearings and scientific criticism. Scientists and health advocates are not the only ones to speak out against aspartame, however. The FDA received a flurry of complaints from consumers using NutraSweet, a product containing aspartame. Since 1992, the FDA has stopped documenting reports on the subject.

The process in which aspartame is created involves combining an amino acid known as phenylalanine with aspartic acid. First synthesized in 1965, aspartame requires bacteria for the sole purpose of producing phenylalanine. Monsanto discovered that through genetically altering this bacteria, phenylalanine could be created much more quickly. In the report by The Independent, Monsanto openly admitted that their mutated bacteria is a staple in the creation process of aspartame.

“We have two strains of bacteria – one is traditionally modified and one is genetically modified,” said the source from Monsanto. “It’s got a modified enzyme. It has one amino acid different.”

Multiple studies have been conducted regarding genetic manipulation, with many grim conclusions. One study found that the more GM corn was fed to mice, the fewer babies they had. Another study, published in the International Journal of Biological Sciences, found that the organs that typically respond to chemical food poisoning were the first to encounter problems after subjects consumed GM foods. The same study also states that GM foods should not be commercialized.

“For the first time in the world, we’ve proven that GMO are neither sufficiently healthy nor proper to be commercialized. [...] Each time, for all three GMOs, the kidneys and liver, which are the main organs that react to a chemical food poisoning, had problems,” indicated Gilles-Eric Seralini, an expert member of the Commission for Biotechnology Reevaluation.

Consumer groups are now curious as to whether or not other products secretly contain genetically modified ingredients. Due to the fact that the finished product`s DNA does not change when using genetically modified bacteria, it is hard to know for sure. With the FDA ruling against the labeling of GM salmon, it is becoming more of a challenge to determine whether or not a product contains GM ingredients. Consumers are voicing their opposition for GM ingredients going incognito, with the largest growing retail brand being GMO-free products.

“The public wants to know and the public has a right to know,” said Marion Nestle, a professor in the Nutrition, Food Studies and Public Health Department at New York University.

Unveiling the secret process in which aspartame is created acts as yet another reminder to stay away from artificial sweeteners, and one should choose natural alternatives such as palm sugar, xylitol, or stevia.

[Editor`s Note: NaturalNews is strongly against the use of all forms of animal testing. We fully support implementation of humane medical experimentation that promotes the health and wellbeing of all living creatures.]

Sources:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/worlds-top-sweetener-is-made-with-g…


http://www.biosicherheit.de/pdf/aktuell/zentek_studie_2008.pdf
(PDF)

http://www.biolsci.org/v05p0706.htm


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/18/AR201…


http://blog.nielsen.com/nielsenwire/consumer/u-s-healthy-eating-trend…

About the author

Anthony Gucciardi is a health activist and wellness researcher, whose goal is centered around educating the general public as to how they may obtain optimum health. He has authored countless articles highlighting the benefits of natural health, as well as exposing the pharmaceutical industry. Anthony is the creator of Natural Society (
http://www.NaturalSociety.com
), a natural health website. Anthony has been accurately interpreting national and international events for years within his numerous political articles. Anthony’s articles have been seen by millions around the world, and hosted on multiple top news websites.

 

---

 

All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing LLC takes sole responsibility for all content. Truth Publishing sells no hard products and earns no money from the recommendation of products. NaturalNews.com is presented for educational and commentary purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice from any licensed practitioner. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. For the full terms of usage of this material, visit http://www.NaturalNews.com/terms.shtml

Defiance: Why it happens and what to do about it

by Karen Miles
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

Source: Babycenter.com

Why preschoolers defy their parents

Your preschooler refuses to leave his friend’s house, ignores your request to put away his toys, and pushes his trucks down the stairs despite your repeated instructions not to. Why is he being so defiant?

Less dependent on you than he was as a toddler, your preschooler now has a stronger and more secure identity. He may even be developing a bit of a rebellious streak. “Defiance is how a preschooler asserts himself,” says Susanne Ayers Denham, a professor of psychology at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia.

What you can do about defiance

Be understanding. When you ask your preschooler to come in for lunch and he yells, “Not now!” and then cries when you make him come in anyway, try to put yourself in his shoes. Give him a hug and tell him you know it’s tough to leave his friends, but lunch is ready.

The idea is to show him that instead of being part of the problem, you’re actually on his side. Try not to get angry (even if the neighbors are checking out the show your child’s putting on). Be kind but firm about making him come in when he must.

Set limits. Preschoolers need — and even want — limits, so set them and make sure your child knows what they are. Spell it out for him: “We don’t hit. If you’re angry, use your words to tell Adam you want the toy back” or “Remember, you always have to hold my hand in the parking lot.”

If your youngster has problems abiding by the rules (as every preschooler does), work on solutions. If he hits his little sister because he’s feeling left out, for instance, let him help you feed or bathe the baby, then find a way for him to have his own special time with you. If he gets out of bed because he’s afraid of the dark, give him a flashlight to keep on his nightstand.

Reinforce good behavior. Rather than paying attention to your preschooler only when he’s misbehaving, try to catch him acting appropriately. A simple “Thanks for hanging up your coat!” or “It’s so helpful when you share with your baby sister!” will go a long way toward encouraging your preschooler to do more of the same.

And although you may be sorely tempted to give your child a verbal lashing when he engages in less-than-desirable antics, hold your tongue. “When a child behaves badly, he already feels terrible,” says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline series of books. “Where did we ever get the idea that in order to make children do better, we first have to make them feel worse?” In fact, doing so may only produce more negative behavior.

Remember, too, that disciplining your preschooler doesn’t mean controlling him — it means teaching him to control himself. Punishment might get him to behave, but only because he’s afraid not to. It’s best for your child to do the right thing because he wants to — because it makes the day more fun for him or makes him feel good.

Use time-outs — positively. When your preschooler’s ready to bust a gasket because he isn’t getting his way, help him cool off. Rather than a punitive time-out (“Go to your room!”), take him to a comfy sofa in the den or to a favorite corner of his bedroom.

Maybe your child would even like to design a “calm-down place” himself — with a big pillow, a soft blanket, and a few favorite books. If he refuses to go, offer to go along with him and read a story.

If he still refuses, go yourself — just to chill out. You’ll not only set a good example, you might get a much-needed break. Once you both feel better, that’s the time to talk about appropriate behavior.

Empower your preschooler. Providing opportunities for your youngster to make his own choices allows him to strut some of his newfound autonomy in a controlled environment. Instead of demanding that he put on the jeans you’ve selected, for instance, let him choose between two pairs you’ve laid out. Ask if he’d like peas or green beans with dinner, and which of two stories at bedtime.

Another way to help your youngster feel more in control is to tell him what he can do instead of what he can’t. Rather than saying, “No! Don’t swing the bat in the house!” say, “Let’s go outside and practice batting.” If he wants an ice-cream cone before dinner, tell him he can choose between a slice of cheese or an apple.

Choose your battles. If your fashion-savvy preschooler wants to wear his green camouflage sweatshirt with his orange striped shorts, what do you care? If he wants waffles for lunch and peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, what’s the harm? Sometimes it’s easier to look the other way — when he splashes in a mud puddle on the way home, for example, or stuffs his puppet under his bed instead of putting it on the proper shelf.

Distract and divert. Avoid situations that might spark your preschooler’s defiant streak. Why risk taking him to a fancy restaurant when you could just meet your sister for a picnic in the park? How realistic is it to expect him to behave in a clothing store or sit quietly during an hour-long community meeting?

If you find yourself in a tricky situation, use distraction to avoid a head-on collision with your child. If you’re walking through the mall and spy a toy store that tends to send your kid into a frenzy, quickly steer him in a different direction or divert his attention (“Wow, Jason, look at that fountain! Want to throw in a penny and make a wish?”).

Respect his age and stage. When you ask your preschooler to make his bed or sweep the porch, make sure he knows how. Take the time to teach him new tasks, and do them together until he really gets the hang of it. Sometimes what looks like defiance is simply the inability to follow through on a responsibility that’s too difficult.

Finally, respect the unique world your preschooler lives in, especially the way he perceives time (or doesn’t). Rather than expecting him to jump up from a game at preschool to get in the car, give him a few minutes’ notice to help him switch gears. (“Aaron, we’re leaving in five minutes, so please finish up.”)

There’s no guarantee that he’ll break away from his fun without complaint — in fact, he’ll probably grouse all the way home. But as long as you’re patient and consistent, your youngster will eventually learn that defiance isn’t the way to get what he wants.

Swap stories and advice about behavior and discipline with other parents in the BabyCenter Community.

Shopping together, staying together

With special thanks for J. A. Vas for sharing!

Shopping together, staying together

By Focus on the Family Malaysia

A fridge, a washing machine… Have you and your spouse bought any such household item together lately?  Believe it or not, a recent study on relationship commitment shows buying decisions like these can be a significant pointer to your ability to stay together!

Couples with greater levels of commitment spend more of their money on major purchases for their home. But before you go on a spending spree just to save your marriage, realise that such purchases are only an indication! They are not the cause of deep commitment and long-term hope in the relationship.

Have you recently thought about what it will take to stay together for a lifetime? Love, of course, will keep you together, but the problem is that love tends to evaporate from most relationships after a while.  Relationship experts agree that very, very few relationships remain consistently satisfying when the only adhesives holding them together are romance and sexual attraction.

Fortunately, there is more to love than just emotional flutterings. The type of love that lasts is a decision rather than a feeling. The really good news is that when you hold to that decision, you can fall back into love again as well.

Like it or not, we live in a divorce culture. I believe the most basic cause is the short supply of the most central ingredient that makes our significant relationships work – commitment.

I had to counsel two friends who were considering separating. Sadly, they parted in the end.  As we explored together what was missing in their relationship, something startling began to emerge. The husband wanted OUT, with a capital O!

Probing into his reasons, it became clear he had had his fingers crossed as he made his vows on his wedding day, figuratively speaking.  He had told himself that if it didn’t work, he could always get out. Not a great start to what is supposed to have been a lifelong commitment!

There is no doubt that commitment is a major source of security in relationships.  Love is not love without commitment. However, with commitment comes a certain amount of grieving – when we commit to one, we have to give up the possibility of others.  If one commits to a course in chemistry, then you may have to miss out on some wonderful and stimulating history lessons.

In an intimate relationship, a true commitment to one person means you are saying “yes” to that person and “no” to every other contender for that position in your heart.  And it’s “no”, not just to current and past contenders but to every potential future contender as well, even if that person is more exciting, richer and more gorgeous than your current partner.

But this is a generation that is skilled in keeping their options open, often fuelled by the underlying fear that if I commit, something better might turn up.

Individualism has taught us to look out for ourselves.  “What I want” rates far more highly than the sacrifices it takes to build a life with another person!  But “what I want” may be incompatible with the “wants” of another – even the person I am passionately attracted to.

To dredge up a psychological term, we are experiencing the fruits of the privatisation of conscience – a phenomenon distinct to our culture and time.  We tend not to care what others – even our significant others – think and feel.

Our culture actually encourages us to believe that only our point of view is correct.  But think about it: is it at all likely that you are the only arbiter of truth, particularly if your truth is eroding your relationship with someone you love and need?

But to build significant, loving and faithful relationships, commitment must be the cornerstone.

Commitment involves a decision of my will, a fair amount of altruism, keeping my promise, and a long-haul view.

My will – in that I decide to buy into the relationship and not just walk away for ease of convenience.

Altruism – in that I am prepared to seek the good of someone else, even when there’s no immediate pay off for both of us.

And finally, a long-haul view – because a vision for the future gets me over the speed bumps of today.  In the absence of a long-haul view, as humans we are apt to go for the immediate pay off.

In relationships where the commitment picture is unclear, neither party will tend to invest. We don’t invest in banks that are shaky, and we tend to apply the same rationale to our relationships.

There is also a principle that whatever we invest in and give energy to, we bond with. That’s why talking about your life together in the future is so important today! This increases the shared bond and nourishes your commitment.

Say “yes” to your marriage. Make your spouse part of your ‘life plan’. Make your investments in your relationship a regular thing. Get in there and show love, warmth, care, affection and verbal appreciation.

Acknowledge that marriage and ‘buying in’ is risky, but the statistics clearly show that in terms of long-term satisfaction and contentment, it’s the best investment you can make.

Trust is the glue of relationship. Show your commitment by investing; this makes it easier for your spouse to trust you and to invest heavily as well. That in turn will feed commitment and trust. (Trust, by the way, is the rocket fuel of passion – particularly for the spouse!  Need to say more …?)

Here are some tips on building a happy marriage.

• When you arrive home, greet each other first, even before the children or the dog. It will give your children the wonderful message that Mummy and Daddy love each other. This is the best message about security that you can give your children.
• Set aside a time to connect each day and to hear each other’s heart. Ask “What three things happened today and how do you feel about them?”
• Try opposing selfishness and practising thoughtfulness. Three times a day, do something you don’t want to but you know your spouse loves (remember altruism!). That could be tidying up or saying ‘I love you”.  Be team-centred – remember you are building a life together and you’re in this commitment together.
• Tell your spouse often why you love him/her. Be specific – I love the way you are so organised. I love your optimism and how you care for our children…

Want a Team to be Creative? Make it Diverse

Source: Harvard Business Review
http://hbr.org/

11:05 AM Friday May 11, 2012
by Beth Comstock

Diversity is the crucial element for group creativity. Innovation teams tasked with creating new products or technologies or iterating existing ones need tension to produce breakthroughs, and tension comes from diverse points of view. This is the opposite of groupthink, the creativity-killing phenomenon of too much agreement and too similar perspectives that often paralyzes otherwise great teams. We’ve all been on these teams. Everyone is just like us — say, marketers or engineers. Consensus comes quickly, and only later, when we fail and wonder why, do we realize that the easy agreements and shared conclusions doomed us from the start.

Assembling and managing diverse teams is hard work. That tension essential to creativity is tough to manage, requiring deft leadership. The manager must ensure that sometimes sharp disagreements are aired without degenerating into the kinds of arguments that paralyze teams.

How to get started? Take a stubborn challenge you’re currently facing and set up an informal meeting with a harsh critic, someone who often disagrees with your point of view. Critics challenge assumptions and are usually very passionate. Invite them in; hear them out. You may be surprised by how much you learn, and also by how thinking about a problem from a different perspective can refresh and energize your own ideas. In the best case scenario, your harsh critic is now your teammate, and not incidentally, will own the particular issue you asked them about. Turning a critic into a passionate advocate and supporter is a great goal in innovation.

And sometimes the necessary diverse view is one that isn’t way outside the norm: it can be right there in front of you. I remember working on an innovation project with a group of engineers. We had planned what we thought was the perfect ideation session, going to an art museum for inspiration, guided by the best facilitators available and set to tackle a particularly meaty problem facing the team. But we were still too similar as a group. At the last minute, we invited a legal colleague, and it was his unexpected role that became pivotal in giving us the fresh perspective we needed to solve the problem.

Finally, integrating divergent views to boost creativity is a natural job for marketers. At GE, we talk about marketing’s role being about uncovering customers’ value and innovating to deliver it. Doing so is aided enormously by integrating diverse ideas on a single innovation team. The problems our customers face are often too complicated for any one approach — integrating diverse perspectives from within and even from outside the company are key to solving them with new breakthroughs.

Creative Ways to Break a TV Habit

Creative Ways to Break a TV Habit.

 

How Motherhood Changes the Brain

How Motherhood Changes the Brain.